1 Jouw persoonlijke Communicatie Stijl Profiel Het meeste materiaal in dit document is in het Engels om zo dicht mogelijk bij het originele materiaal te blijven. Het neemt jou mee om eerst binnen enkele minuten jouw persoonlijke communicatie stijl profiel te leren kennen. Vervolgens is er een royaal aanbod aan informatie over de vier communicatie stijl profielen om daarmee je eigen communicatie en jouw communicatie met anderen zowel zakelijk als privé naar een (nog) veel beter niveau te kunnen tillen. Realiseer je dat jouw persoonlijke communicatie stijl geheel niet hetzelfde is als jouw persoonlijkheids profiel. Jouw primaire communicatie stijl komt daar meestal wel sterk in de buurt. Ik sta gaarne tot je dienst voor verdere uitleg, coaching en andere implementatie programma s. Graag verneem ik van je wat deze informatie voor je doet. Veel succes en plezier hierbij. Robert Benninga: GSM LinkedIn, Twitter en pagina 1. Jouw Persoonlijke Communicatie Stijl Profiel 2 2. De Communicatie Stijlen Matrix 3 3. Promoter 4 4. Controller 6 5. Supporter 8 6. Analyzer Nederlandse samenvatting 14 Alles uit dit document mag worden gedupliceerd na uitdrukkelijke schriftelijke toestemming en/of per toestemming afgegeven door Robert Benninga:
2 1. Your Personal Communication Style Profile Checklist Name: address: Part 1. Below you are invited to make 17 choices, mark left or right for every horizontal pair. You have to mark all pairs, and do it as you perceive your own communication style right now, no wishful thinking or past or future behavior. When in doubt, take professional perspective as 1 st reference. (Nederlands tussen ()) D. P. 1. Takes charge (neemt de leiding) Goes along (gaat mee) 2. Ready (klaar voor) Hesitant (aarzelend) 3. Challenging (uitdagend) Accepting (accepterend) 4. Overbearing (aanmatigend) Shy (verlegen) 5. Extrovert (extravert) Introvert (introvert) 6. Loud (luidruchtig) Quiet (rustig, stil) 7. Initiator (initiërend) Receiver (ontvangend) 8. Leader (leider) Follower (volger) 9. Outspoken (uitgesproken) Withdrawn (teruggetrokken) 10. Talkative (praatgraag) Listening (luisterend) 11. Statements (beweert en verklaart) Questions (stelt vragen) 12. Overt (openlijk) Covert (bedekt) 13. Argumentative (gaat de discussie aan) Agreeing (gaat akkoord) 14. Outgoing (open en aanwezig) Timid (bedeesd) 15. Approach (benadert) Avoid (vermijdt) 16. Expanding (naar buiten tredend) Contracting (binnenhoudend) 17. Acting (handelend) Retiring (terugtrekkend) Total Score: D. = P. = Net Score: (e.g. 11 D. minus 6 P. = 5 D.) Part 2. Below are another 17 choices to be made, mark them again left or right per horizontal pair. You have to mark all pairs, and do it as you perceive your own communication style right now, no wishful thinking or past or future behavior. When in doubt, take your professional perspective as 1 st reference. I. F. 1. Random (in t wilde weg) Patterned (volgens patroon) 2. Warm (warm) Cool (koel) 3. Spontaneous (spontaan) Calculated (beredeneerd) 4. Unorganized (ongeorganiseerd) Organized (georganiseerd) 5. Expressing (zichzelf uitend)) Witholding (terughoudend)) 6. Relationship oriented (relatiegericht) Task oriented (taakgericht) 7. Impulsive (impulsief) Discriminating (op een rijtje zettend) 8. Close (dichtbij) Distant (op afstand) 9. Relaxed (ontspannen) Self-controlled (beheerst) 10. Unstructured (ongestructureerd) Structured (gestructureerd) 11. Flexible (flexibel) Rigid (star/stug) 12. Casual (nonchalant) Proper (netjes) 13. Emotional (emotioneel) Mental (verstandelijk) 14. Available (beschikbaar) Undisclosed (moeilijk bereikbaar) 15. Unfocused (niet geconcentreerd) Focused (geconcentreerd) 16. Scattered (verstrooid) Disciplined (gedisciplineerd) 17. Non-conformist (non-conformistisch) Conventional (conventioneel) 2 Total Score: I. = F. = Net Score: (e.g. 9 F. minus 8 I. = 1 F.) End of checklist
3 Plaats nu jouw 4 scores in de matrix hieronder. D = Dominant, dus links op de horizontale as. P = Passief, dus rechts op de horizontale as. I = Informeel, dus bovenaan op de verticale as en tenslotte F = Formeel op de onderkant van de verticale as. Verbind nu a.j.b. deze vier scores met verticale- en horizontale lijnen. Er ontstaat een rechthoek die het speelveld van jouw communicatie stijlen aangeeft. Plaats nu ook jouw twee netto scores op horizontale- (= Dominant-Passive) en op de verticale (= Informal-Formal) as. Verbind deze twee netto scores wederom met verticale en horizontale lijnen in de matrix hieronder. Waar deze twee lijnen elkaar dan kruisen, daar zie jij jouw primaire communicatie stijl in één van de vier hoofd types:: Promoter, Controller, Supporter of Analyzer. Het is een uitstekend idee om ook anderen te scoren en anderen zichzelf en jou te laten scoren. Geweldige ingang voor beter begrip voor elkaar en hele concrete tool om nog veel beter te gaan communiceren intern en extern. 2. Communication Styles Matrix INFORMAL 17 PROMOTER SUPPORTER 8 3 D O M I N 17 8 A N T 0 8 P A S S 17 I V E CONTROLLER 8 ANALYZER 17 FORMAL In the following pages you can read, study and then above all implement the learnings and insights you will undoubtedly get for much better communication with your peers both professionally and personally. Remember at all times that your personal Communication Style Profile is not your personal personality Type. Your primary Communication Style and Personality Type are likely to be close, however in daily communication you will be invited to manifest a mix of all communication styles for optimal results.
4 User Manuals & Guidelines the four Communication Style profiles. Mind you, these are sometimes exaggerated and stereotypical. Also this material is somewhat repetitious to make the point very clear. This material was inspired by among others the work of Merrill, David W., Ph.D., and Reid, Roger H., M.A. (1981). Personal Styles and Effective Performance. Bradner, PA: The Chilton Book Company, and the interpretations by Open Circles, RAGroep & ArboUnie. 3. Promoter Dominating Characteristics The Promoter speaks ideas, initiates ideas. They are very creative, spontaneous, quick and light. It is important for them to be the center of attention. It is very important for them that things will be fun, enjoyable and happy. The Promoter understands things primarily and sometimes only through pictures, examples, illustrations and stories. If you speak to them in an abstract manner it is dry and boring for them, they need the movie. How is the Promotor Perceived By Others (Both on the negative and the positive side. In any case it has nothing to do with the person him- or herself) Negative Side shallow, tends to exaggerate, full of crazy ideas, manipulator, full of fantasies, cannot be trusted, do not keep their word, low credibility, user, cynical, aggressive, gets angry quickly, disturbs more than contributes, repeats himself a thousand times, rude, egocentric. Positive Side - charismatic, brilliant, has a solution to any problem, excellent leader, full of humor, the center of any party, social leader, full of often good ideas, energetic, fun to be with, creative, great friend, knows how to make people more enthusiasic. How to Address a Promotor Short introductory words, with lightness and fun, with humor while talking through examples and pictures and illustrations, always give a story or an example. Appointments & Punctuality You can make an appointment but it does not mean that they will be there as by that time they had another idea that took them off. They love having agendas but it is mostly for decoration reasons and it is in the drawer or they write the meetings in after the meeting actually took place. As for punctuality they either come minutes later thinking that it is only 2 minutes or they come 20 minutes earlier while thinking they are on time. If you are late to them tell them the whole story of what happened. 4 Promoters are here to have fun They tend to get involved with people in active, rapid and moving situations. They generally like exciting activities of an inspirational nature. They hate detailed analysis and they can easily make generalizations without sufficient factual information; they are given to exaggeration. They are usually stimulating people to be with. Socially outgoing, friendly, lively and charming. They tend to think out loud in a way that convinces people to go in a particular way or take an action toward that idea or concept, while they are already moving to another idea or another proposition. This makes them look as if they are inconsistent and unreliable. Even though they are viewed as socially outgoing and forceful, others may perceive promoters as manipulating. They are aware of and concerned with the feelings of others as well as their ideas and try to include others in their plans and activities, especially if it s recreational. Promoters are highly competitive. THEY HATE AUTHORITY, the only authority they accept is themselves. They are usually open with feelings and try to be helpful in interpersonal situations. People with a promoting style usually lack concern for details and may move too rapidly before fully completing a task. They loose their interest in a task once their idea was accepted. For them the task is complete if the idea was accepted. They may jump to conclusions on intuition or hunch. They are not concerned with the end result and lack the patience to wait for it or build a structure that will allow them to benefit from it. Therefore an organized structure could motivate a promoter to complete his/her task (of course it has to be their idea of it.)
5 For Promoters in management position an organized, methodical support team will often keep their sometimes-unpredictable ways and lack of detail-mindless in check. Promoters will be motivated only by approval and a lot of applauds and recognition. They are eager to please others, especially those who respond to their outgoing ways. They need to move rapidly from task to task or get excited in each step of the way in a longer project. They work best in a setting which provides some structure to assist in the planning and following through their ideas. While on one hand promoters may be seen as exciting, provocative, fun-loving, friendly and energetic, they may also be seen as unstable, disorganized, loud and aggressive, unreliable, inconsistent and approval seeking. Anger When a Promoter is in anger you better go down into the shelter. They express it in 2 ways: 1. They just explode they cannot control what comes out of their mouth at that moment. The best thing is not to take them literally at that moment. Usually they will come and apologize rather soon after the incident. 2. The dangerous way is the manipulative anger usually they do it with those that they think are stronger than them or that they need them. Then they will swallow their anger and will start planning how to make the revenge without that person knowing about it. They will wait in the corner for the right moment to hit and that nobody will know that it was them. They will go a long way for revenge. In order to get them off their anger all you need to do is apologize: Sorry, I did not mean that or Sorry it just came out of my mouth, just couldn t hold it and tell something funny about yourself. How to obtain Cooperation from a Promoter Very easy just ASK them Can you help me please? There is one sentence that the Promoter cannot resist and that is: Could you do me a favor? They just melt from it and they really will run to do it. Acknowledgment You need to give as much as possible. The Promoter lives on acknowledgments and wants that everybody will know about it. Acknowledgments are the fuel for them to go on. When they do not get it as much as they think they deserve they will think something is wrong with them and they will start being destructive. 5 Special Issues 1. Body language they talk with their entire body and with a lot of noise. 2. They get excited quickly but just as quickly as they get excited they stop easily. Therefore a long project for them is for maximum 6-7 weeks. If you wish them to do it longer, break it down to smaller parts of 4-5 weeks and make each part exciting and challenging. 3. They live in a world of pictures they understand, and speak only in pictures, examples and stories. 4. They will get excited and even commit themselves for something that they don t know anything about it, if it will be described with a lot of words of importance and generality. I need somebody that is powerful like you, and that knows what they are doing, for a challenging project that will allow them to express leadership and originality with creativity. They will be hooked immediately for it. 5. They will be willing to go into the smallest details if you will work with them through their ideas how to do it. 6. If you wish them to look at charts do it colorful and in a graphic display. They hate charts. 7. They have the tendency to jump into big conclusions and generalizations. End of guidelines for Promoters
6 4. Controller Dominate Characteristics The Controller talks results, projects and goals anything that is connected to let s talk business. Everything has to be short and effective. The key word here is efficiency, efficiency and more efficiency and it is VERY IMPORTANT that it will be done THEIR WAY. Meaning according to their perception and their point of view. How is Perceived By Others (Both on the negative and the positive in any case it has nothing to do with the person himself) Negative Side hard to get to, tough, results above all, too direct, rude sometimes, without sensitivity and tact, arrogant, without feelings, dominating, closed minded, disconnected, impatient, forceful, not human, without sense of humor, one-trek-mind, militant, blocked. Positive Side excellent leader, great coordinator, a person that can do any job, loyal friend, reliable, somebody that you can trust totally, gives himself totally, real hard worker, straight, caring, involved, practical, totally honest, efficient. How to Address When talking with a Controller you need to be short, to the point and with facts and evidence The conversation has to be built logically. Appointments & Punctuality You MUST make an appointment with a Controller otherwise they will not accept you. It has to be in the agenda even when it is on friendly terms cup of coffee, or going to the movies. To Start a Conversation Short and brief welcome words like: Hallo, good morning (that means they had fun last night.) A long one is: Hallo, how are you?, their favorite one is : Hi which for them means Hallo, how are you, everything is well with me? After the welcome words you have 3 to 30 seconds to say what you want to talk about. You need to give them immediately the bottom line what is the wanted result. Hallo I came here today to talk to you about what I want is.. If you have not explained yourself within 30 seconds you re in trouble. 6 Conversation Structure When they talk you listen, when you talk they listen. There is order, you do not jump into each other sentences. The whole conversation is about facts, results and practical things How to Change Way of Operating + How to Present a Change to a Controller The Controller is going in his way and he is right in it (from his perspective). The reason is that everything for them is based on facts, on results and experience. Therefore they will not change their way easily. If you ask them to do things differently they will immediately ask: why? They will change their way if you show them that the new way is more efficient, more effective and quicker. Then they will change in a matter of seconds. But all that has to be proven to them according to their criteria and according to what they call better results. If you want them to create a change you need to give it to them as an assignment. Mistakes and Feedback When you want to give them a negative feedback or to tell them they made a mistake just say it straight Don t try to make it nice or to go around. Be direct an on the spot. They will be the only group that will be able to stay open to criticism even when it is done in public. Not that they love it but they can handle it. Controllers are here to work Controllers tend to be active, independent and ambitious, giving an appearance of self-confidence. They take the initiative with other individuals and in groups they enjoy organizing things, which they usually do with a take-charge attitude. Controllers like information and often make it their business to detect the who, what, where, why and how of any given situation. They are generally strong willed and forceful and are willing to confront others about their ideas and attitudes. They usually make decisions easily and rapidly, which suggests a sense of efficiency and perhaps urgency. As a result of a strong task oriented approach, it may be difficult for the controller to demonstrate emotions.
7 Preferring order and organization, controllers can make order from chaos easily and naturally. They like to be fully in charge of a situation and may resent others having power over them; they want to run all parts of their own life. However they will have no problem with authority and will accept it as it is. They will look at other people for results. THEY HATE NOT GETTING THEIR RESULTS therefore they can be demanding from others and may work very hard to achieve them without realizing that their behavior might be irritating to others. They will be seen as competent and determined, but at times may push too hard and be too critical of others. They are likely to want to get the job done first before taking time to work on inter-personal relationships and have a look on the emotional side. Because of this, they may experience the lonely-at-the-top syndrome. Emotions for the controller are just another issue that needs to be handled in order to get the job done and get the result. Controllers tend to lack patience and may need to strengthen their ability to listen to others and recognize the importance of feelings as well as logic. Generally, controllers are punctual and keep their agreements as if they were sacred vows. Controllers will generally respond to a fast-moving challenge and will get bored if they find the pace too slow. The need for personal successes may limit their ability to cooperate with others in accomplishing the organizational goal. Not having the situation under their control may raise anxiety levels. They tend to set objectives and work towards them in systematic fashion. Because they direct energy towards task results, others will naturally accept their authority and leadership. While on one hand the controller may seem as efficient, cool, competent, organized and in-the-know, they may also be perceived as arrogant, power driven, rigid and without emotions. Hate Most When you waste their time. When people do not talk to the point. When people are late and give long excuses When you break agreements with them or leave things that are not closed to the last detail. When you cover up or lie to them. They hate not reaching their goals or missing them. They hate it when you start telling them how to do things to the smallest details. Anger The Controller never explodes. Anger is a way to achieve something and it is always planned in how to express it. They will always check before they express it, if it will give them the wanted result or not. If not they will wait for the right time to express it. The best way to take them off their anger is to leave them alone and give them their space. Somewhere between 30 minutes to 3 days they will find a way to get off. The other way is to speak to them softly. In any case NEVER EVER touch an angry Controller, not even as a comfort gesture, you might be hit in return. 7 How to obtain Cooperation It has to be as part of an assignment. Just tell them what you need and by when. Acknowledgment The acknowledgments should be to the point and on what they did. Don t exaggerate the acknowledgment, as they will not trust you then. Special Issues When they are totally listening they look totally blocked and bored but you need to understand that they are 100% with you at that time. A lot of their conversation is done with their head small movements.. They don t easily talk about feelings, as there are no facts there. When they do it s going to be short but just as deep as other styles. They make a separation between feelings and work. They can go on working no matter what they feel. They will allow their feeling after they have finished what they call work. They express their feeling by DOING something visible and not by talking about them. End of guidelines for Controllers
8 5. Supporter Dominate Characteristics The Supporter talks feelings. They live feelings. They breathe feelings. For the Supporter results means what will be the feelings. They are very sensitive and they get hurt very quickly, they are very gentle. Another important thing for the Supporter is the togetherness. It is vital for them to be together with another person. How is Perceived By Others (Both on the negative and the positive in any case it has nothing to do with the person himself) Negative Side irritating, bureaucratic, hesitant, withholding, without an independent thought, does not know how to make up his mind, creates problem where there are no problems, does not know what they want, fragile, too sensitive, too emotional. Positive Side a soft and quiet leader, loyal friend, caring, willing to give himself totally, precise, accurate, gentle people, pleasant, great team member, can be depended on, willing to help, trustful. How to Address The whole conversation is in a quiet and soft voice and very detailed with the focus on feelings. It has to be informal conversation. Appointments & Punctuality They prefer that you will make an appointment with them in advance but not in the agenda as they see it too formal and loses the friendly side. You can say: shall we see when can we meet or shall we meet on Monday at 10:00 without opening the agenda. Tip if you come to a meeting with a Supporter without appointment, they will accept you as they don t feel good to refuse but they will be busy the whole time with what they need to do in stead. To Start a Conversation You should start with a long warm-up talk with a deep interest on the personal aspect. Hallo, how are you?, how are you doing?, how is it going at home? How are the kids?, parents? What did you do in the weekend and so on. Don t worry they are going to answer to all those questions. If you don t stat that way they are stuck and they freeze. You lose them immediately.? How are the kids?, parents? What did you do in the weekend and so on. Don t worry they are going to answer to all those questions. If you don t stat that way they are stuck and they freeze. You lose them immediately. You can destroy a Supporter day by just ignoring them while you walk down the corridor and not say Hallo to them. They will go the whole day with the feeling that THEY did something wrong. 8 Conversation Structure The conversation is quiet and with a lot of details, and the stress is on feelings. When you want to present an issue to them, you first give the topic itself the headline. Then give a wide background about it with the stress on the feelings and how you feel towards it. After that when you reach the relevant part for them you show them how they come into the picture, again with a lot of details and the result should be defined with feelings. The whole conversation is done in a quiet and soft voice. When they speak you do not cut them off. If you do they will get hurt and will disconnect and close down. If you wish to clear up something while they are talking you can ask: I m sorry, but I have a feeling that something is not clear for me and I am not sure about the last part, could I ask a question to make it clearer for me, would you repeat it How to Change Way of Operating + How to Present a Change to a Supporter The routine and the stable and fixed structure is very important for the Supporter. Without the structure and the routine they lose their confidence. Therefore they don t like changes so much. When you wish to create for them a change (even just changing their desk) you need to let them know in advance. Not 5 hours but 5 days (at least). When you inform to them about the change you need to give them all the details one step after the other. What is going to happen in the change, or what is their new assignment, what could happen and what solutions you can think of and most important what are your feelings towards this change.
9 Mistakes and Feedback Never make it a personal mistake but a general one and to the point. You don t say to them: the report you have given me is full of mistakes but There is a mistake here. Then you need to show exactly where is the mistake: page 17 in the 5 th line from the bottom the 3 rd item. Then show them 2-3 steps how they can correct it. One of the coffee cups is broken, I suggest that you will go to the cupboard in the hall where there is a new set of cups If you need to give them a feedback do it in private in a soft tone. You start it with a stress on caring and together. This is our project and because I care for you and it is important for me that we both succeed in it I d like to tell you something here is what I suggest. How are Pupporters perceived? Others perceive people with a Supporter style as casual and likeable, while trying to minimize interpersonal conflict. Though they are responsive to people, they generally let others take the initiative in social situations. They find it difficult to turn down a request because they want to be helpful, even if it comes instead of their own needs. Their understanding and friendly approach to people is nonthreatening and easy to be with. They will not be competitive as relationships are their basic interest. They will never impose themselves on others or try to convince others of their point of view. They tend to be more concerned with the feelings and relationship to others than with logic or task. They will probably seek close, warm and lasting relationships. They are good listeners (especially for complaints, bad and sad events ), they love to listen to drama- stories and they will take time with people to help them realize and feel at ease. They approach others on a basis of relationship rather than task and will be willing to accept a lot of shit from others, because of their need to be liked. They need praise and they are eager to please, pretending to approve and agree with people even when they disagree or do not intend to approve. THEY WILL AVOID HURT FEELINGS AT ALL COSTS and may often feel resentment as a result. Supporters will lack interest in planning and goal-setting and may need structure and specific descriptions of the task to be completed. They will need a lot of details and small steps explanations in order to fulfill their task. Once that was received they will do all they can to complete it, as supporters are service oriented. There are times when more direct and honest feedback to others would benefit them. They need to learn to stand up for their ideas and be willing to risk disapproval of others. They may be more effective as they apply relationship skills to the task at hand. 9 Supporters will generally be cooperative and willing to be of service to others. They will tend to work through the structure in order to prevent interpersonal misunderstanding (which will sometimes look as if they are rigid as they will stick with the rules and bureaucracy). They will accept supervision readily. They try to please others by doing what is expected of them; they like reassurance that what they are doing is acceptable and respond to the personal attention they get from superior. Because supports dislike conflict and hurt feelings, they tend to withhold unpleasant opinions and information. They welcome direction from others. If they know that their ideas can benefit others they will express them in a non-threatening manner. On one hand, the supporter may be perceived as easy-going, friendly, gentle, eager to please and pleasant, they may also be seen as wishy-washy, unwilling to take a stand, overly yielding and unmotivated. Hate Most That you raise your voice on them, or yell at them they will immediately shut down They HATE surprises and changes Never tell them: decide NOW they will immediately say NO They hate when you talk about them in front of people. When they are being ignores or not greeted Sitting alone in a room When they are not being updated about things.
10 Anger You will never know they are angry, They hardly show it, but they carry it deep inside. They prefer to cry it out in private. If you realize that they are angry, just apologize and short. If you make it long immediately they will feel guilty that they allowed showing their anger and they will take the blame for it on them How to obtain Cooperation Very easy just ask for it. Can you help in something. They love it when people ask for their help. Acknowledgment The acknowledgment to the Supporter should be small. Never in front of people because they immediately feel embarrassed. It has to be individual and from the heart. Give them a small note, a phone call; a flower (not the whole shop.) meaning small and personal gestures. Special Issues They do not say what they think and they are very busy with pleasing others, being the nice-guy. They will tell you the answer you wish to hear, what is easy to hear. They hide what they think, because they don t want to hurt or to embarrass and then they will become manipulative and will go behind your back. The aggressive jokes of the Controllers and the Promoters hurt them and they close down from them. They get hurt for the others. A sentence like: when he was small his father threw him up in the air three times caught him twice make the Analyzer feel sorry for the person that it was told about and they stay away from the person that told the joke as they think they are rude and dangerous. End of guidelines for Supporters 10
11 6. Analyzer Dominate Characteristics The Analyzer is very similar to the Supporter, they look alike and they act alike. There are some differences between them that we will put the focus on them. The Analyzer talks all the time on facts, details and logic while the Supporter is focused on feelings. The Analyzer is just the same as the Supporter concerning being sensitive and hurt very easily and very gentle. For the Analyzer the togetherness is not that important as for the Supporter. Actually they prefer they enjoy working on their own. Most important for them is NOT TO MAKE A MISTAKE. How is Perceived By Others (Both on the negative and the positive in any case it has nothing to do with the person himself) Negative Side nagging, irritating, bureaucratic, hesitant, withholding, without an independent thought, does not know how to make up his mind, sticks to regulations, sticks to insignificant things, asks too many questions, without aliveness, without feelings, boring, gets hurt on any trivial thing Positive Side analytical, with high ability to analyze situations, very organized, reliable, precise, serious, accurate, goes down to all the details, a soft and quiet leader, excellent friend, caring, willing to give himself totally, hard worker, gentle people. How to Address The whole conversation is in a quiet and soft voice and very very detailed. It is preferable to give them in advance written material, which is even more detailed. It has to contain in it all the detailed data that you have. They prefer ALL the DETAILS. You need to give them data even if it does not seem to you relevant. Appointments & Punctuality They prefer that you will make an appointment with them in advance in the agenda. But if you show up without an appointment they will still accept you because they will not feel good to say no. Take in account that the meeting will be a waste of your time, as they will not really listen to you because they will be busy in their head with what they should have been doing. To Start a Conversation Not like with the Supporter here the classic beginning is appropriate: Hallo, how are you? A bit likes with the Controller but more elaborate. They will answer OK, which means that they approved of your start. If you try to push more like: how are you doing it will create tension for them. They are not really ready to speak about personal issues and that is an invitation to do it, which they are afraid of. 11 Conversation Structure Like with the Supporter the conversation is quiet and a lot of details, but without the feelings. When you want to present an issue to them, you first give the topic itself the headline. Then give a wide background about it with the stress on the details and the data. After that when you reach the relevant part for them you show them how they come into the picture, again with a lot of details and the result should be defined in data. The whole conversation is done in a quiet and soft voice. When they speak you do not cut them off. How to Change Way of Operating + How to Present a Change They like their routine and their structure, therefore just like with the Supporter you need to let them know in advance. Giving them all the information and the data while referring to what might go wrong and the solutions to it.
12 Mistakes and Feedback Just like with the Supporter, never a personal mistake but a general one and to the point. But for them you need to show them how they got to the mistake. You need to track down the logic behind their mistake and the logic in what you did that will allow them to correct. If they did A+B+C = Z, you need to show them that it should be A+B-C=Y in order for them to see the difference. It is not enough to tell them that it should be Y instead if Z. Feedback should be behind closed doors and only between the two of you and show them 2-3 steps how they can correct. All that in a soft and gentle voice. How do Analyzers see their world? Analyzing style people tend to take a problem-studying approach to situations. Oriented more towards concepts than towards relationships or feelings, they prefer study and contemplation to immediate action and give a thoughtful even hesitant impression. They tend to be steady influence in a group, with their restrained and unassuming way. Deliberate and unaggressive, they usually wait for others to come to them rather than initiating an opinion. They typically want to collect a great many facts and opinions before making a decision. They are the ones that will probably read the whole manual and ask for more details about section 3.2.a(2). They will usually suffer from buyers regret because they will continue to gather endless data even after purchasing an item and then they will discover that they could have gotten it in a better model. The consulting role with other people seems to suit their serious and precise manner. Others can perceive them as academic and as taking themselves very seriously. In relationships, they are not easily risking or giving trust. They open up with great difficulty, as they do not tend to express their feelings. Though they tend NOT to initiate relationships, others will seek them out because they are good listeners. Having once formed an emotional bond, they are loyal and constant with it. They tend not to seek personal recognition, preferring to work in the background in a problem solving, analytical position. They will usually wait until they are sure 100% about their opinion before they will express it. THEY HATE TO MAKE A MISTAKE and they will avoid it at all costs. Even in an area of their expertise they will not take a position and express an opinion or even suggest one unless they are sure that they will not make a mistake or be found wrong. Though they appear soft, they can be tough and rigid when needed. They prefer to avoid interpersonal confrontation and conflict. 12 Because of their unwillingness to take a stand they tend to become procrastinating and get too involved with analysis. They are still seeking for more data when the time has come for a decisive action. They could be more effective if they learned to be less serious, to loosen up and enjoy more. Analyzers will generally take an orderly, systematic approach to the task at hand. They usually like things to be rational and well organized. They are likely to pause until they are sure and the task is clear, then work at it persistently, conscientiously and thoroughly. Well-established rules and procedures will create an environment in which their methodical effort will be most effective. They will become tense or even immobilized when confronted with chaos and uncertainty. They do not like hard competition and therefore they will naturally move to an advisory role. Their steady and quiet manner will often cause other to look to them for counsel, for the facts, for precision. While on one hand, analyzers may be perceived as knowledgeable, experts, steady dependable and calm, they may also be seen as boring, tedious, withheld, uncommunicative and incapable of making a decision.
13 Hate Most That you raise your voice on them, or yell at them they will immediately shut down They HATE surprises and changes Never tell them: decide NOW they will immediately say NO They hate when you talk about them in front of people. They go crazy with the non-logical approach of the Promoter and then they move into anger. THEY HATE MAKING MISTAKES They hate not having sufficient data. Anger You will not really see their anger. They usually suppress it very deep down. But if there is one group that can make them explode it is the Promoters and then they sound like a volcano. If you wish to get them off their anger it is NOT enough that you will apologize. The whole apology needs to be logic and full of logic explanation why you did what you did. E.G. I was told that 4 out 5 details were covered and therefore I thought that. Which meant that I have to do.., what I found out afterwards is that not 4 out of 5 were but actually 2 out of 5 Only then they will accept your apology. In any other way they will not believe you, that you are sincere in your apology. How to obtain Cooperation Like with the Controller it has to be as part of an assignment. If they have another assignment to do they will tell you to come in the afternoon, as they need to do something else first. Acknowledgment Like with the Supporter it has to be done in small things and very gently. Special Issues Just like the Supporter they do not say what they think and they are very busy with pleasing others, being the nice-guy The aggressive jokes of the Controllers and the Promoters hurt them and they close down from them. They get hurt for the others. A sentence like: when he was small his father threw him up in the air three times caught him twice make the Analyzer feel sorry for the person that it was told about and they stay away from the person that told the joke as they think they are rude and dangerous. Never ask them general questions; you always have to define the situation and the background of the situation. Otherwise you will get answers that are true always and never. 13 End of guidelines for Analyzers Voor het afrondende Verkeerslicht m.b.t. jouw Communicatie Stijl Profiel actie punten ga a.j.b. naar pagina 15 aan het einde van de Nederlandstalige samenvatting.
14 7. Nederlandse Samenvatting van de vier Communicatie stijlen Begroeting Promotor: lange begroetingen, praterige aanpak, waarbij hij interesse toont voor de luisteraars en de omgeving. Wanneer de begroeting kort is, zal hij deze als een belediging opvatten, er niets van zeggen, maar er alles aan doen om wraak te nemen. Verhalen, humor, licht Controller: korte begroetingen, langdurig begroetingen maken hem achterdochtig en ziet deze als tijdverspilling. Hij/zij zal je zien als manipulator en je zal vrijwel meteen zijn vertrouwen verliezen. Concreet, to the point. Supporter: lange begroetingen, verwacht persoonlijke belangstelling terug. Doe je dat niet, dan zal hij dit ervaren als een gebrek aan menselijkheid van uw kant en het contact zoveel mogelijk proberen te minimaliseren. Doe je het goed, dan heb je aan hem een zeer loyale vriend/collega. Vaak zacht qua stem en langzaam. Analyser: beleefde, klassieke begroetingen. Hij gaat niet echt in op persoonlijke begroetingen, omdat hij 1. niet gelooft dat de ander echt geïnteresseerd is in zijn antwoorden en 2. een persoonlijke begroeting hem het gevoel geeft emotioneel 'naakt' te zijn en dat is voor hem bedreigend. Heel concreet en goed voorbereid, veel details. Hieronder kort beschreven de vier stijlen. Sommige mensen kunnen zich volledig herkennen in één van de stijlen. Combinaties van stijlen komen ook veel voor. Je stijl si dus niet je persoonlijkheid. 1. Promoter Vindt het heerlijk om in het middelpunt van de belangstelling te staan en is makkelijk toenaderbaar. Houdt van levendigheid en vooral veel gezelligheid. Zit vol met ideeën, alleen de uitvoering er van is niet zijn sterkste kant. Geliefd om mee samen te werken, zijn verbeeldingskracht en enthousiasme motiveren zeer. Kan slecht tegen hiërarchie: vertellen wat er moet gebeuren zal niet werken en leiden tot weerstand. Enkele tips bij benadering van een Promoter: Een Promoter komt zelf vaak te laat op een afspraak. Zorg voor een lange, enthousiaste begroeting. Creëer een sfeer van ouwe jongens krentenbrood met humor. Zeg nooit wat hij moet doen. Dan doet hij het zeker niet Controller Zeer resultaatgericht en to the point. Krachtig persoon met een sterke eigen wil, neemt gewoonlijk nature de leiding op zich. Kan veeleisend en erg ongeduldig zijn en daardoor anderen irriteren. Enkele tips bij benadering van een Controller: Kom op tijd op de afspraak met een Controller;; hij heeft een bloedhekel aan mensen die te laat komen. Zorg voor een korte formele begroeting;; niet over koetjes en kalfjes beginnen maar gelijk over het onderwerp en de feiten. Zorg ervoor dat de Controller inziet wat de bespreking hem kan opleveren, dan is hij echt geïnteresseerd.
15 3. Supporter Wordt door anderen gezien als aardig en behulpzaam. Je krijgt er bijna nooit ruzie mee. Zal nooit een verzoek weigeren, zelfs al gaat dat ten koste van zijn eigen belangen. Praat graag over gevoelens in plaats van harde taken, goede luisteraar en zachtaardig. Heeft erg veel moeite met plotselinge veranderingen. Enkele tips bij benadering van een Supporter: Lange persoonlijke begroeting, maar wel met een zachte stem (niet te hard praten). Belangrijk om echt contact te maken; praten over gevoelens en emoties. Neem hem bij veranderingen stap voor stap bij de hand. Geef kritiek altijd onder vier ogen. 4. Analyser Probleemonderzoekende houding. Meer gericht op ideeën en concepten dan op relaties en gevoelens. Maakt een bedachtzame en zelfs wat aarzelende indruk, bescheiden. Verzamelt voor het nemen van een beslissing veel informatie, heeft behoefte aan veel details. Werkt grondig en gestructureerd. In persoonlijk contact soms nogal formeel en komt daardoor soms saai over. Enkele tips bij benadering van een Analyser: Zorg voor een korte en formele begroeting. Zorg voor veel details en een logisch en rationeel gespreksonderwerp. Het praten met een harde/luide stem kan bedreigend overkomen. Blijf een Analyser aankijken als je met hem praat, anders vindt hij je onbeleefd. Wat heb ik nu concreet geleerd over het beter toepassen van mijn primaire- en secondaire communicatie stijlen? Waar ga ik nu mee Stoppen? Waar ga ik mee door? Waar ga ik mee Starten 15 Nogmaals, veel succes en plezier met de implementatie van dit krachtige materiaal. Bel/mail me gerust met verdere uitleg, coaching en mogelijkheden voor andere verbeter programma s, zoals De Communicatie Makeover Master Class Hallooo Hoor je mij? Graag verneem ik van je wat deze informatie voor jou en jouw omgeving doet. Robert Benninga Kantoor Mobiel
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